The Fairies

It is hard to track down the Lairds of Cassilis and get them to contribute to our little project in Cassilis Victoria Australia.
God bless her ladyship the Marquess of Ailsa's Mother who was so gracious to us when my wife and I visited the Kennedy home some years ago.
But I have to admit her tale of the Fairies was enough for me to write a very silly ditty.
Apparently when the influential Kennedy's decided to build a new home (Castle) they were to build it in the most obvious place. That is on the Doonans (downs) overlooking their vast Estate.
The Fairies didn't like it so every time more stone was added to the Castle the fairies would knock it down under cover of darkness. (Fairy nuff I say).
Robert Burns has more to say on the subject in his epic poem "Halloween"
But I do digress. My ditty is based on the notion that the fairies of Cassilis had a friend and protector living under the old rickety rackety bridge over the river Doon.
That friend was a Troll. A very bad tempered sort of half man half beast that is listed as such on the internet.
Some of you may have a song that features a Troll and wanting to eat people for his supper. A terrible idea as it would give a Troll terrible indigestion. No wonder he or she would have an appalling temperament.
So here is my ditty and to those of you who have heard the song my ditty shares the same tune.
In my ditty I happen to mention the word sandwich which may be the wrong word as it was the Earl of Sandwich that invented the sandwich and not the Troll.

Song: I’m A Cassilian

CHORUS:

I’m one in a million,

I am a Cassilian,

I’m one in a million,

I am a Cassilian,

I’m one in a million,

I am a Cassilian

I’m going to eat your factor.

I’m going to eat his smelly feet,

Even though there ain’t much meat,

 I’m going to eat his smelly feet,

And put them in a sandwich

CHORUS:

I’m one in a million,

I am a Cassilian,

I’m one in a million,

I am a Cassilian,

I’m one in a million,

I am a Cassilian,

I’m going to eat your Mother.

I’m going to eat her flapping ears,

And wash them down with 20 beers,

I’m going to eat her flapping ears,

And cook them on the barby.

CHORUS:

I’m one in a million,

I am a Cassilian,

I’m one in a million,

I am a Cassilian,

I’m one in a million,

I am a Cassilian,

I’m going to eat his Lordship.

 I’ll cook him in the fairies tower,

Because they have electric power,

I’ll cook him in the witch’s tower,

And turn him into haggis.

CHORUS:

I’m one in a million,

I am a Cassilian,

I’m one in a million,

I am a Cassilian,

I’m one in a million,

I am a Cassilian

I’m going to eat you Kennedy’s. Burp!

I’m going to eat your tiny brains,

I will wait until it rains,

I’m going to eat your tiny brains,

With garlic and red pepper.

CHORUS:

I’m one in a million,

I am a Cassilian,

I’m one in a million,

I am a Cassilian,

I’m one in a million,

I am a Cassilian,

You think of me suspicious,

You really are delicious.